For a start...

As my little blip under my picture says, this blog used to be filled with anger. At my old job there was a lot of unnecessary drama. Because I was trapped in the middle of it, I felt like I was going to explode everyday that I was working. I dreaded going in and even though I was releaved every evening to go home, I was still angry. So my mom and I who are very close were getting into yelling fits almost every other evening and I felt like packing my bags and running and never looking back. I started looking for another job and 6 months later my prayers were answered. I got a call from Boston Stoker for a full time barista position. I was beyond ecstatic when they hired me with absolutely no coffee experience. Even though I was getting a big pay cut, I was perfectly okay with leaving my last job.
It took a couple months for me to start calming down and I soon noticed that my mom and I hadn't fought in a couple weeks and when we did it was quickly settled.
But a new battle has been starting...A battle with myself. I've had a very hard past 10 years. Now I'm not saying that I've had a hard life because that's not the case...I'm very spoiled. But my biological father has turned his back on me but still expecting me to be there for him. I've had more than a handful of friends stab me in the back on several occasions. And just overall I'm a heartbroken girl. Because of these events I've built a wall around myself to where I don't let anybody close. I thought that I was getting better. I was going to church and becoming close with the Lord and putting all my heart into loving him. Well I had a weak moment and somehow my wall went up and right now it's harder than I could ever imagine to break it down. I haven't been going to church for the past couple months except for a couple times and I listen to hard rebelious rock rather than the Christian rock that I love.
I'm trying to get back to that place where I was but it's going to be a long process that only the Lord can help me with.